I guess I have to write it down to truly understand what a journey I am on right now.
So 7 years ago now I saw the first contemporary dance of my life at my dance school’s show, where alumni returned to dance in a gala performance. The performance affected me more deeply than any dance I have seen before, it really moved me and, even at the age of 10 I thought it was incredible- I wanted to be able to dance like that, and really feel the dance as I saw that they did.
Since then I have had a deep fascination with contemporary dance, I have spent hours on youtube watching the athleticism and artistry of others, learning all I could just by watching. People have often told me contemporary would suit me as a dancer, and each time I heard that comment I was so excited because I just wanted to be able to dance like the performance I had seen all those years ago.
Last year for my birthday I went to see Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet, and it was absolutely incredible- I got that same feeling as when I saw that first performance. There was so much passion to their dancing and so much depth to their performance- I was totally captivated. Then a few weeks later I went to an open day at NSCD- I was amazed that places like this existed- where I could spend my whole life for 3 or 4 years in that world that I had dreamed of for so long.
But then this past year I kind of lost myself- I honestly can’t think how it happened, but I made the decision to drop the idea of contemporary. I decided to focus on a broader range of dance and musical theatre, I think, unconsciously, I was scared- scared that the world of contemporary wouldn’t live up to my expectations, that I wouldn’t live up to it’s high standards, that I needed to be more diverse if I wanted to make it in the dance world.
It seems that I have been drawn back towards it though- this year I have auditioned at 4 dance colleges, and gained places at 2 of them. One of these was not for the course that I wanted to get on to, but it was the college that I like the best- so currently this is where I am planning to attend for a year starting in September. The rejection from 2 of the schools is probably one of the hardest experiences I have had to deal with on a personal level- and I think I’ve more decided not to deal with it, just ignore it and hope for better next time.
And then came 2015- this will be my year- I can’t believe what has happened so far. I began one on one contemporary lessons with the girl from the gala performance back in 2008. I have learnt so much- she has helped me to choreograph a solo for my audition at NSCD- the place where I had dreamed of. And it is absolutely perfect- strong, intense, emotional, intimidating, uninhibited, with an endearing vulnerability to it.
I hope this journey of becoming contemporary will continue, I hope I gain a place at the college of my dreams this year, and if not I will try again next year. I want to be a part of the world of contemporary. I want to feel the dance as I saw that they did.